Its hard to believe that today marks one year since Al passed away. Its been a hard year, not only with not having him here, but with everything else that has happened. This week has been the hardest. I've been trying to figure out why, but its hard to figure out sadness.

This week I've been thinking about him a lot, and the boys have been talking about him quite a bit. I haven't mentioned the anniversary to them, I figure they don't need to know and they don't realize how long its been. But we've made it through all of the firsts without him - the first Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, Easter, Fathers day... and 360 other firsts. And now, today, the first year is over. I guess its hard because we've always had a "first" to get through. Now that its been a year and we have no more firsts, its almost like we're getting farther away from his memory, from our time with him. I know none of this makes sense to you, but in my mind, it all works. It makes sense. But its still not fair.

So instead of going on and on and getting upset, I'll end with this. Al, I know that you wouldn't want us being upset or spending the day in tears today. Instead, I will think of you with a smile, talk about happy memories with the boys and remember you with love. You will always be in our hearts and our thoughts, never far from our minds. We love you and we miss you. Most of all, we wish you were here.