I've been putting off writing for the last few days but now its time. Last Friday, my grandmother passed away. She lived in Scotland, and we didn't get to see or talk to her often. In fact, the last time I saw her was in May 2004. I thought that with the 3000 mile distance between us that this would have been easier, but it's not.

I've been thinking about her a lot this weekend. All the little things from when I was little and growing up... I remember the weekends when we'd sleepover there and I'd be terrified watching the old horror movies. You know the ones with Bela Lugosi as Dracula? My grandparents would have to convince me each and every time that it wasn't blood, that it was just ketchup! I remember going to her friends place, walking all the way there with my brother and having tea & cookies. I can't remember her name, I just remember going there. I remember when my nana's friends would call her ... they'd stand at the fence at the front of her house and call "Sadie" till she went out to talk to them! I remember Lottie, William Stuart, and other friends who would stop by to talk, have some tea or some of her soup. I never liked her soup. I don't like any soup, but she always had soup available for those who liked it. I remember when the tv would just stop working and we'd have to put money in the meter! I remember Mac, the little dog who just couldn't stop biting me because I must be tasty :) I remember that she was always wearing her hat - and we'd call it a tea cozy! I remember playing under the stairs with the pots & pans. I remember sliding down the big roll of carpet on the stairs when the upstairs carpet was being replaced. I remember playing with the gas masks and ration cards from the second world war, playing in the bomb shelter at Maw's house. I remember sneaking through the fence in the back yard into the back lane. I remember the ice cream van and how it would stop right in front of the house, I loved that! I remember ice cream floats. I remember when she talked to mannequins when we were at Edinburgh! I remember your cards with your handwritten notes "love you hen, xxxxxxxxxxxx"... I'll miss those.

When Jason and I were getting married, my nana came over for the wedding. The guys were having fun at the stag & doe and they got a bit carried away and there was a bit of a mosh pit going on. My nana walked right into the middle of this group of big guys and started yelling at them to stop because she didn't want Jason to have a black eye for the wedding pictures! You have to picture it - these big huge guys and this little 5 ft nothing lady shaking her little fist and yelling at them with a Scottish accent... priceless.

Joey was born just before Christmas of 2001 and ended up in hospital just 6 weeks later with RSV and pneumonia. Nana & Margo came over to meet him, and didn't care at all that he was in isolation at the hospital. She just wanted to see her first great-greatson. I'm glad that she got to meet Joey a few times, that she spoke with him and got to hear him sing and dance on tape. She never got to meet Chris, but Chris grunted into the phone a few times for her, I think he cried and screamed for her too! I hope she knows that he's a good kid and he wasn't crying over anything she said :)

Most of all, I remember her cookie jar. It wasn't fancy by any means, just a big green tupperware container. It was always filled with cookies, good cookies, but they were all broken. I think that they must have beaten each pack of cookies with a baseball bat or something before they put them in the cookie jar. Each time we went to visit, we were always told to get a cookie before we left. They'd help us to go through the cookie jar looking for one cookie that was whole, but since we could never find any, we had to take a whole bunch of broken cookies!

She's being buried on Wednesday. I can't be there at the funeral, so this is my little tribute to her. I hope that you know how much you were loved and how much you will be missed. RIP Sadie, nana. We love you.