Tonight has been the hardest night I've ever gone through. So many tears, so many goodbyes.

My father-in-law passed away tonight. He had been in Lisaard House for the last week, and the last few days he had been really struggling. We were too. But tonight was different. It was just the four of us with Al, and we were playing cards and talking about Al, and what the future holds. I really believe the Al could hear us, and that he heard us talking about looking after each other. I think that he knew that we'd be ok. He was always looking out for everyone else, but tonight he did what was finally best for him.

Al was a cantankerous old coot! That's what I called him just the other day when I had to describe him and knew that he couldn't hit me for saying it :) He could be miserable, but he was the most selfless person that I ever knew. He would give you the shirt off his back without a second thought if it was something that you needed. He was a hard worker all his life - he worked at Grobers for over 20 years, right up until he got sick. Any time something had to be done, you just had to ask Al and it would be done right away.

We didn't always see eye to eye.... we had many arguments, as I'm sure that many others did ;) But we are a lot alike, stubborn and set in our own ways, sometimes unwilling to listen to anything other than our own opinion! But somehow we always worked it out.

Al had many different roles throughout his life - son, brother, husband, brother-in-law, father-in-law..... but I believe that the most important role in his life started 12 years ago when he became a grandfather. Al lived for those kids. Taylor, Mathew, Joey & Chris meant the world to Al, I never saw him happier than when he was with the kids. The annual fishing derby in Varney, playing at the lot, Bucky, sharing ice cream and freezies, these are just a few of the things that I hope the kids will remember about Al. There's so much to remember... its hard to sit here and not cry remembering all of those things.

It hurts. I want to scream. But I won't - Al would have laughed at me if I did that! I will be strong, and we have each other, and the kids, to be strong for. I know that right now Al is watching over us, our new guardian angel.

We love you Al - I may not ever have said it, but you meant the world to me and I thank you for everything that you ever did for us. I thank you for raising Jason to be the man, husband, father that he is today. I thank you for teaching my boys how to pull your finger.... ok, maybe I'm not really thankful for that one, but still, its a memory! I thank you for calling me Melba Toast! I thank you for the cherry whiskey memory. I thank you for making me go on the bungee jump thingy at Darien Lake :) Most of all, I thank you for being who you were - not always perfect, but perfect for us.

If I could hope to take something from your life, I hope that I have learned selflessness - I will try to think of others before myself, I will try to love even if someone is a pain in the ass (sorry about that!), I will give someone else the last shot of cherry whiskey even if my heart is breaking and I think I need it because that's exactly what you would have done. Thank you Al - thank you.

I hope that you are exactly where you wanted to be now, with your mom and dad. I told Christopher that you would take Farley for a walk for us. We'll miss you very much, but I know that you're in a better place, no more cancer, no more pain. We love you so very much Al. Rest in peace.